Opinion: The Camden City Cigarette Party

My arduous, hour-long commute from work this afternoon -- which, I might add, was quite exasperated by the Labor Day thrill-seekers overflowing in minivans filled with an alcoholic’s paranoia at the dire annunciation of ‘last call’ -- was calmed by the soothing, poetic voice of the late Christopher Hitchens reading the book he authored God is Not Great.  Filth of this sort upsets the devout, but reminds me -- an unholy, non-believer -- that I am unconditionally free from an omnipotent, omniscient & omnipresent ruler, and unrestricted in living my life according to my own volition.  Or am I?

"This cigarette business only confirms my suspicions about god's existence."



With windows down, I cruise past the umpteenth WaWa as Hitch goes in for full penetration: “Violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism and tribalism and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry, contemptuous of women and coercive toward children: organized religion ought to have a great deal on its conscience.”  Then I notice a sign on the well-groomed grass of the WaWa: “[Cigarettes] Sold at the lowest price allowed by law!”. Well, stop the music.  Just what do you mean?

Have we called “the state” off the bench to pinch-hit for our divine, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent ruler in cases of economics?  The state, rebuked in the past for their epic failures in the arena of price ceilings, is still playing un-criticized with price hurdles it seems.

As of January 1, 2012, New Jersey imposed a $2.70 per pack tax on cigarettes.  PER BLOODY PACK!  And this exorbitant amount only lands them at #6 among these united States (gather your children for a fun game of ‘Find Out How Much My State Thinks I Should Be Taxed For Purchasing Unhealthy Products, Although I Have Decided For Myself To Take The Risk When Making The Purchasing Decision’ by clicking here.  “But, Mom, I thought America was a free-market?” “Ah, Timmy, so naïve you are.  Those public schools will educate you!”).  So, a one-pack-a-day kinda’ guy from the Garden State will pay $2.70 per pack per day multiplied by 365 days in a year, which costs him thousand bucks every year.

Why?  Is it because cigarettes are unhealthy?  Such reasoning would force the state to tax every unhealthy aspect of our lives, which ironically includes the state themselves and their intermingling in the economic affairs of society.  The current paternalistic state should offend any rational, reason-minded citizen; the legislation of morality and "healthiness" (subjective a phrase as it is) should not be tolerated by any civilized society.

In conclusion, I want to express my empathy to WaWa as a non-smoking, atheist champion of liberty and free markets.  This company is willing, by every indication, to charge lower prices for cigarettes, but the state will not allow it.  Consumers pay the price to fill the insatiable gut of Mr. Christie under the guise of morality and health.  Do not let the rhetoric beguile you.

Christie hungry.

How can we convince the state that excise taxes are unjust, and that legislating morality is immoral in itself?  Who is John Galt?

Well, tonight, under the stars of Camden city, at the foot of the Ben Franklin Bridge, we fill the Delaware River with [even more]: stogies, butts, roaches, cartons, chew, snus, snuff, blunt guts, cigars, doobies & empty cigarette packs.  Join me comrades!

Seriously, stop asking me, I haven't the foggiest.