Sports: Brent Celek, Is There Anything He Can't Do

I've never been a huge fan of Brent Celek, neither has my associate Copperhead. Our reasons are our own. But if you MUST know, he banged my mother and his girlfried. But all that aside, take a gander at this:

PIcture taken minutes before Copperhead's girlfriend and my mother made him into a Celek Sandwich.



Now, we are both big men, not big in the sense of the way Mr. Celek is big. We are bigger men in the sense that we can look past all that, as long as he performs well for our Eagles. I've never been to big on him, he has good hands, but has dropped some crucial touchdowns as well. He runs hard and rarely ever goes down on the first hit....until:




First down motheruckers!

Whoa! Dude, got his bell run, shook it off in seconds, and just went HAM with his first down motion. His swagger was on full, I have no doubt. At this point of thinking, wow, he hung onto the ball...AND HE CANNOT BE BROKEN. Now I've been watching the Eagles a long time but you don't see someone get the wind knocked out of them and come up firing. B oh no, he was not done yet:

Alley-Oop.

One of the funnier things about this is what as soon as Celek got the ball, Copperhead yelled out "He's gonna hurdle someone." And not more thean 1 second later Ed Reed was hurdled. I could not imagine what that feels like, the whole "Where did he go" feeling. This isn't the first time he's done this either. I can recall at least 3 or 4 games where this has taken place over the past 5 years, although I failed to find anything on youtube.

But believe me, it happens.

See?

So, let's just sign this guy up for the Olymipics, sure we can continue to dominate in swimming, but with a stud like this out on a track with those fairies, not only with he out run and out hurdle them, he will also run them the fuck over, because he can. Or better yet, put a saddle and a jockey(like DeSean Jackon) on this stud and watch him rock the equestrian games:

"Six foot vertical? Piece 'o cake, hold on little buddy."

I'm all for this. I'd like to see the Eagles win the Super Bowl finally, but wouldn't it be better to have America dominate in track, field, and the equestrian games next Olympics?

Oh...and just cause it was Ed Reed and I fucking hate Mr. Reed for getting a pick and taking Kelce out for the season, here's Horsecock Celek sack tapping him from a different angle.

Mr. Reed, suck it.