Sports: Batum vs. Navarro - The Cockshot Heard Round the World

Where's my money, bitch?

Holy shit people, I could not believe it when I saw it. Apparently, Nicholas Batum became enraged in the final minutes of the game as his Frenchmen were facing elimination via the Spaniards in the quarterfinals of men's basketball. He spotted his arch nemesis Juan Carlos Navarro, balled up the massive hamhock he calls a fist while sprinting toward his unknowing victim, and with the fury of a thousand suns threw a cockpunch so fierce that I assume sent the tiny spaniard to the floors in the fetal position alternating between a horrible mix of severe convulsions, vomiting blood, and massive rectal leakage.

"I wanted to give them a good reason to flop," Batum was quoted saying, which implies that it wasn't necessarily Navarro that was a specific target of his rage, just a bystander of it, that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and paid dearly. Now for a moment let's forget this was on the world stage and this guy hasn't embarrassed his coach, teammates, and country. Let's also forget that being a sore loser and a sucker punching pussy is extremely lame and those are the worst kinds of people. And lastly, let's forget that his guy won't be punished very harshly even though he deserves to be banned from any sporting event ever because he cannot conduct himself like a civilized human being. With that all forgotten, for me, this was an hilarious moment in an otherwise low scoring and uneventful game. Some people might not agree and say that it has no place in the sports, and to those of you boring fucktards, I pose the question, "Would basketball, college, NBA, or otherwise, benefit from an deranged dickbashing enforcer imposing his will on his opponents?" Please take a moment to think about this, it works in hockey right, I mean, aside from the crotch assault. Who wouldn't tune in to see giants abuse each other's penis' for four straight quarters? The answer is nobody that I would associate with, which leads me to believe this is the evolution of basketball before our eyes. People said it was the 3 point shot, or the expansion of the 3 second area or misguidedly stated it would be Slamball. But they were/are dead wrong, it is oversized neanderthals striking each other in the go-nads.